Here are 2 things you should NOT say to your significant other during parental leave:
1. When said significant other stays home every day with your offspring, while you go to work and/or happy hours, do not say: “I’m getting a little stir crazy after being cooped up all day today.”
2. When you are sleeping in the other room, so as not to be disturbed during the night, do not say to her when she complains of tiredness in the morning: “Well, two hours of sleep at a time isn’t too bad, really.”
If you do say these things, make sure you don’t keep a gun in the house.