When did I get so boring? I feel like I used to be a fun person, who made people laugh and was silly and funny. Now though, it seems like I have to work at being fun. I have to weed through all the thoughts of whether the diapers got washed, whether that was the baby crying or the TV, whether anyone responded to my call for a nanny for the month of March. I’m listening to Joe giggle easily in the front room while he plays Halo with his friends, and I wonder if I laugh as easily and as much as I used to. I don’t think I do. I’m too busy being a grown up, and I haven’t found that balance of being a fun grown up yet.
And then I wonder when my life became Everybody Loves Raymond. A sitcom, but not even a good sitcom. And inane one that preys on stereotypes like a bumbling, oblivious husband and a nagging, harried wife. It reminds me a little bit of a Life in Hell cartoon called something like “So, You Want to Get Married?” And says “Are you prepared for…” with a list of consequences of getting married. One listing is “Having sex with the same person for the rest of your life,” with a cartoon of those weird Life In Hell rabbits on top of each other in bed, and one has the thought bubble “Did I take out the trash??” The next item on the list is “NOT having sex with the same person for the rest of your life,” and the cartoon is 2 rabbits lying awake in bed, and one is thinking “Did I take out the trash??”
John Lennon said that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, and it seems like that’s happened to me. Life just kind of snuck up and infiltrated all this fun I was having. Everything is my own choice — getting married, having a baby, etc. And I think it’s a good trade off, all the way around. I mean, I don’t want to be one of those creepy old ladies at the gay pride parade who are wrinkly, puking drunk and taking off their shirts for beads. There is something to be said for growing up, certainly. I just need to find a new balance between making sure the phone bill gets paid and making sure my gut aches from laughing every now and again.
And, just to clarify, I had sex just last night, lest you think I’m REALLY in a bad way. I hardly thought about taking out the trash at all, since trash day isn’t until Thursday.