I am having a very testosterone kind of evening. We just watched a guilty pleasure, “Die Hard,” and now I’m off to read “The Big Sleep” by Raymond Chandler, starring Phillip Marlowe, private dick. He uncovers a (gasp) pornography ring! Indeed! The leader takes photos of women sitting on chairs — just sitting there — with no clothes on. It’s scandalous. A 1930s Larry Flynt, I suppose. But, the unfortunate thing is, I will not be getting any big sleep myself, as the Young Master has decided to wake up several times a night, after being a sleeping prodigy at 9-12 hours for a month or so now. There is still not 3am piercing crying — yet — but I’m sure it’s coming. Probably on Sunday night, since I go back to work full time Monday. I was just starting to think I had the hang of this mom thing, and now I have no idea what to do. Do I let him roll around unhappily and fuss, and wait until he wails? Then let him wail longer? Do I get up and feed him, even though I don’t think he’s hungry? Do I get him up to comfort him? Do I pretend to be asleep and hope that Joe gets up? Oh, wait, he puts earplugs in at night.
The good thing is that it seems this is a common problem. Four-month sleep regression, some call it. I haven’t found much on it “officially,” but there are several blog entries like this one that detail it and have many moms rejoicing that they are not alone. And moms that reassure you that it is hellish for, say, 5 months, but eventually gets better. Until the next thing. The explanation for this newfound restlessness is that there is just so much going on in that little 4-month-brain that it can’t sleep. Object permanence, remembering things for more than 8 seconds, learning to grab with your hand open instead of closed. All things you’d think would be easy to get the hang of, but really aren’t. I just keep reminding myself that whenever I start a new job, the learning curve is pretty steep, and it takes a long time to feel like I know what I’m doing. And that’s just a new job, in the same field, that I go to for only 8 hours a day. Darwin is learning how to function in the world and actually be a person. I assume that’s more difficult than museum education.
But gawd, I hope he figures it out quick.