Gestation/Renovation

Have a baby AND renovate a house? Piece of cake!

A balancing act May 22, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kelli Landes @ 7:07 am

Today was such a beautiful day — and to make it even better, I had an offsite meeting that ended early, and I decided to just go home. I mean, coming bck to work for 45 minutes would be pointless, right? So, I was walking to the el and saw a lovely pub with outdoor seating and thought to myself “Wouldn’t it be great if I could sit in the sunshine and drink a beer and read my book. But I have to get home.” Then, I thought “Why do I have to get home? The babysitter doesn’t expect me for 2 hours!’ So, I sat in the sun and drank a beer and read my book. It was quite nice.

I’m glad I took the time to do that, and get a little mini refresh.  Joe and I are getting better at balancing things, but we’re still not great. Joe has gone back to work this week (hooray!), and that creates a new wrinkle into things. As much as I complain, Joe really does the lion’s share of the parenting during the day, since he’s the one at home (but what fun would it be to just write nice posts about him? BO-ring!). Since I have to work late a couple times a month, or have evening meetings for other things, or work on weekends, he sees Darwin a lot more than I do.  Or, did, at least.  So now it’s like he’s been on maternity leave and is going back to work, and dealing with all the guilt and sadness of leaving The Peanut in the morning, knowing he’ll come home right at bedtime.  It’s a hard adjustment to make.  So now we’re struggling again with this whole working thing.  Is it bad for both of us to work just because we like “stuff?”  Because really, plenty of people support their families on less than Joe makes alone, I’m sure.  But, we like our things, and our house, and our trips, etc etc.  And I have to admit that it sure is nice to get out of the house and have some “adult time” (even though that sounds slightly dirty).  I struggle with whether or not it makes me a better mom or a worse mom to work.  Am I setting a bad example if I give up my outside interests to be a full-time mom?  Am I neglecting my child for no reason other than materialism and selfishness?  Sigh.  And the thing is, that I know Darwin will turn out fine no matter what.  He has 2 parents who love him very much, and love spending time with him, and shower him with attention whenever we can.  It’s really just a matter of degrees — how much BETTER will he be if I make the “right” decision?  Even though I don’t think there is a right decision.  At work, someone who has been at the Foundation for 10 years is leaving to be a full time mom, just after getting a big promotion.  She has huge regrets, but would have more if she didn’t leave.  Sarah, you’re definitely right — we should all work 9-2, and have the rest of the time for family and books and beers.  And be able to make huge cash doing it…

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