OK, so I am faced with the mother’s dilemma of Leaving The Baby Overnight For The First Time, and I need you to help me figure out if I’m being one of THOSE moms, or if my concerns really are reasonable.
The background: Joe’s new job is having their summer work outing. In Milwaukee. It is on a Saturday, and Joe would like to go and then spend the night there, leaving Darwin with his parents. The weekend before, we will be at a wedding celebration for the better part of the evening, and the weekend after, I leave for 5 days, sans succubus, for the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. Oh, and also, the first weekend in August we’re moving to Joe’s parents’ house and starting Darwin in his new daycare (more on THAT sometime later. Eeesh).
My issues (in no particular order, and by no means a comprehensive list — who has that kind of time?): I think my biggest concern is that we’re uprooting Darwin to a new place, new daycare, new space for sleeping, etc., and then leaving him alone. The fact that we’ll be gone for the evening the weekend before is good (he can get used to Joe’s folks taking care of him) and bad (will Joe’s parents get tired of the babysitting thing? Are we just being lazy parents, leaving our child with caregivers every weekend?). I just don’t want to add to Darwin’s confusion and unhappiness in a new situation. Of course, it could be that Darwin will be perfectly happy and adjust like a champ, and this is a moot point. But I just worry. I’m a mother, that’s my job. I also worry that I’m leaving him alone too much — going away the weekend before, and the weekend after. I don’t really worry about him — I know that it won’t be some kind of permanently scarring thing where he has abandonment issues because I went away 3 weekends in a row once when he was 9 months old. I worry more about me. I will miss him! Strangely, I have no stress about leaving him for 5 days to go to Canada, but somehow overnight to Milwaukee is harder. I’ve had a lot more time to plan the Canada trip (and it is Canada, no Milwaukee), and I’m really excited to go to Canada. But this overnight is really stressing me out — maybe because neither Joe nor I will be there.
So, am I being a totally worrywart to worry about so much change all at once for him? I suppose I should get used to second guessing myself even more than usual, but this one is the first really hard decision for me. What do YOU think?