I have returned from Canada. It was such a wonderful trip, with great plays (from The Music Man to Hamlet), and great company. All the other women who went were either childless, or the mothers of other women on the trip, so they hadn’t been new moms for 30-40 years, so there was no talking about babies really at all — which was both the hardest part of the trip and the most wonderful part. It was really hard because I missed Darwin so much, and felt like I couldn’t go around whining about it to The Staunchly Childless, but at the same time, it was really good for me to talk about things that all the rest of the world talks about, and to realize that I can still hold a conversation about something besides poop consistency. It was a true vacation. Despite the fact that there was a bat in a bedroom of our B&B (what lovely alliteration), and that one of our party got stuck in the shower. There was the in-ground pool, the beautiful flowers, the not driving anywhere for days, the pretending to bite Brian Dennehey’s ass, and the french fry wagon. And the psychic fair, where I had both my auras AND my chakras photographed. Both leave something to be desired, apparently.
And, of course, the best part of the vacation was coming home. Darwin did great while I was gone (which was both a relief and a bit of an insult — you mean he doesn’t NEED me constantly????), and in the morning when I got him up, he just kind of looked at me with a smile, like “Hi. You’re back. Duh. Now feed me.” Joe had gotten up early, even, to see what Darwin’s reaction would be, and was underwhelmed. But those baby hugs sure were nice. I was also very proud of the fact that there was enough breastmilk stored up that no formula as used. If there hadn’t been, and all those pumping bloody nipples had been for naught, I would have been a sad girl, indeed.
I’m so glad I went on a trip like this, and did it now. It seems like it just gets harder and harder to go on a trip without your child the longer you wait. So, proving that Darwin really will be just fine without me, while a bit hard on the ego, is ultimately very freeing. It makes me feel good about Darwin, and about me — and about Joe, that he’s such a great dad.
The cats, however, are a different story. They are super clingy now that I’m back. It’s nice to feel needed by SOMEONE.